Underwater Love Pt. 1

This must be underwater love, the way I feel. I’ve watched every Salad Fingers documentary and now whenever I think about dark green leafy vegetables I feel nauseous. Kev says it’s started to affect my pigmentation. Kev’s full of whack. Don’t listen to him. Last night, at the crack of dusk, Kev and I erected a totem pole, crafted by Kev’s deft hand from Polish … Continue reading Underwater Love Pt. 1

The Uniformity of Haricot Beans

He undid his waistcoat. He took off his shoes and knee-length socks. He was a peculiar fellow. Full to the brim with idiosyncrasies, refreshing to all those who knew him. He unbuttoned his floral shirt and allowed the cooling breeze to breathe coolly over his supple chest. His abdominal hairs thanked him for it. Chiming in, his homeostatic glands heaved a sigh of immense relief. … Continue reading The Uniformity of Haricot Beans

EXCERPT [Reveries]: Richard goes to his first Masturbators’ Anonymous Meeting

Reveries, by Bruno Cooke, is available on Amazon. Read about it on Goodreads, or buy it straight off the bat. Also, read a review here. The group leader was an officious turd whose name, Ronald, was actually his first middle name. Ronald was two minutes into a tiresome speech about Man and Man’s habits, Man’s desires in conflict with Man’s religion, Man’s Manness in conflict with Man’s Misunderstood Masculinity, and … Continue reading EXCERPT [Reveries]: Richard goes to his first Masturbators’ Anonymous Meeting

EXCERPT [Reveries]: Richard shits in the bath, is upset

Reveries, by Bruno Cooke, is available on Amazon. Read about it on Goodreads, or buy it straight off the bat. Also, read a review here. Richard’s affliction first presented itself on his sixth birthday. After a wonderful day at the playground with both of his friends, his parents took him home for apple pie. Apple pie was his favourite. Then, it was time for his bath. Splashing about … Continue reading EXCERPT [Reveries]: Richard shits in the bath, is upset

EXCERPT [Reveries]: Richard, Jenny, and a pair of antediluvians

Reveries, by Bruno Cooke, is available on Amazon. Read about it on Goodreads, or buy it straight off the bat. Also, read a review here. Eight minutes later, Richard returned. Jenny was etching something pornographic into the tabletop, scratching at the surface with a house key. She looked up, her gaze holding something devilish, almost diabolic. Richard grinned. “Two Antediluvians, shaken and stirred.” “Champion. Tell … Continue reading EXCERPT [Reveries]: Richard, Jenny, and a pair of antediluvians

EXCERPT [Reveries]: Josie Haybottom is late

Reveries, by Bruno Cooke, is available on Amazon. Read about it on Goodreads, or buy it straight off the bat. Also, read a review here. At 05:01 on that fateful October morning, Josie awoke in a wet bed. Her bed was wet with urine, her own. The sun still slept. Her brother, it seemed, observed an etiquette vastly transliterated from her own, regarding prank rules. … Continue reading EXCERPT [Reveries]: Josie Haybottom is late