Call him, or her, Ishmael

Ishmael, or ‘Miss L’, aka ‘Madame Elle’, is an performer from Caloocan hoping one day to make onto the European entertainment circuit, possibly by way of international cruise ships operating in the Indo-Pacific region. Apparently, there is money to be made as an entertainer in hotels in and around Metro Manila, but for obvious historical reasons, Europe represents something of a step up. For the present, however, Ishmael was running the spa on board the 2GO ferry operating the Manila–Cebu City route.

They first spoke to me in Quick Mart, the onboard dispensary of coffee and snacks, but it wasn’t until later, while I was reading at a small round table on the landing overlooking reception, that they caught me away from other people. They said that as soon as they laid eyes on me, they knew I was “the one”. After barely ten minutes of conversation, they said they considered me a “close friend”, and that they hoped I felt the same. “Nothing more,” they added – I’d mostly talked about Laura. “Look after yourself, honey.”

They introduced me to the other spa therapists as their “future husband-to-be” at least three times. The therapists laughed in a way that made it clear I wasn’t the first person Ishmael had cornered like this. Ishmael encouraged me to visit the spa at around 9pm, after dinner “and a shower – take a shower first”, for a free massage. “I’ll even rub your back. I’ll take care of you.” They were wearing dark lipstick. I went to bed.

In the morning, Ishmael came and brought me coffee, a burger and a T-shirt bearing a travel-related platitude in a kooky typeface. They – I’m using ‘they’ partly because Tagalog (pronounced ta-GAH-log, the official language of Luzon, the Philippines’ largest and most populous island) doesn’t have separate personal pronouns for different genders, which may be why Ishmael, as a gender-ambiguous person, didn’t address this gender-ambiguity by stating their pronouns as people in ‘the West’ have grown accustomed to – knew where to find me because they had scoured the ferry for me during the night, while I was sleeping.

They asked me how I had slept and started to make friendly conversation with my neighbours, who took kindly to Ishmael’s flamboyance. Ishmael told me they had waited up until 2am, expecting me at the salon. “From now on, I am Mrs Cooke.” 

When they put their hand on my knee, I moved away. I was trying to read. Then it was my toe, but it was the way they fixed me with a stare that I found the most distracting. They kept telling me how much they missed me, or had missed me, and that they hoped to see me on my return journey to Manila. Thankfully, I already knew I would be on a different ferry for my trip home. They wanted me to visit their family in Caloocan.

When I got down to walk away, they grabbed me and planted a kiss on my cheek, aiming for my mouth, then dove in again for my neck. It made me think about assertiveness and gender. They were behaving like a ‘he’, I thought – presuming requital, persisting in the face of an awkward, uncomfortable smile – but I also know from experience that it’s not just men that can behave like that. He? She? How much does it matter? Be sensitive. When we finally docked, I was glad to get away: the Visayan Islands were beckoning.

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The First Cut is the Deepest

To get on the Manila–Cebu City ferry from Makati City, first you must negotiate your way through the bustle and grime of some of the city’s busiest thoroughfares en route to Manila’s North Harbour Pier 4.

Philippine political and corporate history will call up to you from the asphalt: Ayala Ave owes its name to the country’s largest asset holder, Ayala Corporation, whose namesake is 19th century Basque businessman Antonio de Ayala; Buendia Ave, formerly Gil Puyat Ave, honours a former senator who founded the now incongruously named Chinabank Savings Bank.

Puyat’s family got rich from lucrative government construction contracts in the 1930s and 1940s. The Ayala family has roots in the Basque Country, in northern Spain. Exiting the family company’s sphere of influence is no mean feat, especially in Metro Manila. It owns and operates BPI, the first bank in Southeast Asia, with assets worth ₱2.23 trillion; Ayala Land Inc., a colossal real estate and retail developer; Globe Telecom, one of the biggest mobile networks in the country; and even the Manila Water Company

In the heart of Makati City, where Laura and I made our home for the best part of two years, is the Ayala District, the financial capital of the Philippines. 20 years ago, Ayala bought a controlling stake in the company developing Bonifacio Global City (BGC), which may be the city’s (and is among the country’s) most pruned, foreign-inhabited and bourgeois districts. Anyway, back to the boat.

For some reason, we had to be at the port at midnight – the ferry left at four in the morning. Getting through the various queues and checks required to board is a kerfuffle but still only takes half an hour, making the wait on the other side seem needlessly long. Still, the night air is cooler, almost refreshing.

When I got to the port, the dust-brown line of trucks and lorries waiting to enter stretched for hundreds of metres. I skirted past them, paid my dues at the oversized baggage counter, queued for the terminal fee, which for whatever reason you cannot buy in advance. When it comes to boarding, cyclists have to carry their cycles up two or three flights of external steps before entering the ferry itself rather than park up with the cars and trucks down below.

There were three other bicycles on board this particular 2GO ferry to Cebu: one, a very shiny mountain bike, was disassembled, making it easier to haul up the narrow metal staircase; another was a child’s bicycle, strapped to the top of a stack of other family belongings. When I got to the foyer area, by the reception, there were two women in sequins and a man with shiny hair singing ‘The First Cut is the Deepest’, by Rod Stewart.

Long haul ferries in the Philippines tend to offer three ticket classes. Budget travellers sleep on deck, in bunkbeds, in the open air, with cover but without walls on all sides. ‘Tourist’ class ranges from large, open-plan sleeping areas – enclosed, with air conditioning – to single berth cabins. ‘Business’ class includes anything from six berth cabins (with AC and an ensuite bathroom) to singles and doubles. The difference in price between the classes isn’t as significant as you might think – the main thing is to book early.

Tickets include meals in the canteen: a cup of rice with a meat accompaniment. There may or may not be vegetables.

Those travelling ‘business’ eat separately, in a smaller restaurant usually called the Horizon Cafe. When I got to my 14-berth cabin, several other passengers had already settled in. “This is my home,” the young girl in the bunk next to mine told a few of our neighbours. “That’s good,” one replied. The girl’s mother had gone to get linens.

The music blared in the background, the man singing now, hardening his Rs and giving his vowels a twangy edge so as to better put his listeners in mind of Josh Turner’s South Carolinian drawl. He was singing ‘Your Man’. “Good morning everyone!” one of the women interjected between lines of pop ballad. It was about two o’clock. The young girl’s mother arrived with two more large bags of stuff, belongings we’ve all been encouraged not to leave anywhere unattended. 

Breakfast runs from 6am to 8am, lunch from 11am to 1pm, and dinner from 6pm to 8pm. Depending on when the journey is scheduled to start and finish, your ticket might say ‘B:1 L:1 D:1’. You hand it over, the server puts a little tick next to the relevant letter, and you get your food.

On this particular journey, I slept through breakfast, but by mid morning, everyone was up. Half were outside, watching the low blue sea hum past. A third, give or take, were in Sea Breeze, drinking eye-wateringly sweet packet coffee and eating Sky Flakes, the nation’s favourite crunchy snack, or drinking extra strong beer.

A dozen or so empty cans of Red Horse were piled in the middle of the table closest to the karaoke jukebox. Its occupants appeared to have been there through the night. They were singing karaoke, and it wasn’t hard to imagine them having kept the machine playing for ten hours straight, providing the sonic backdrop to family breakfasts and truckers’ solitary musings.

It was shortly after I had my lunch that I properly met Ishmael…

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