Vladimir Putin but not riding a bear
Volodymyr Zelenskyy, two Ys, getting spellings right, 
that Yale lecturer who talks about Ukrainian history, Timothy Snyder – or Snider?
The Syrian leader with the forehead, Assad, no, his father Assad, very top-heavy
Conservative MPs Damian Green and Bob Stewart, of Ashford and Beckenham respectively
My old MP was a doctor, she was popular until her colour changed, when she defected
Same goes for Christian Wakeford, although he’s not a doctor
Is he?
Not a doctor, not a doctor
Dad’s a doctor. Wakeford––
Same surname as him I sat next to in A Level maths. Shane. Rugby lad
Kwasi Kwarteng is sure to go, an alliterative name
Nigel Lawson’s got nearly the same name as his daughter
mee-crow-wah-vay
Uh oh, not Nigella
Gary Neville’s dad’s called Neville Neville. What were they thinking?
Sr, Jr, II, III
Lorelai and Lorelai Gilmore, onwards ad infinitum
… Donald Trump’s tiny hands, Barack Obama’s propensity for bomb-dropping, 
the Supreme Court’s decision to overturn Roe v Wade
What has the world come to? Elon ‘African American’ Musk buying Twitter
Ron DeSantis being sanctimonious, or loving meatballs
This lady getting dangerously close, almost as if she wants me to think
Nigella Nigella Nigella
Fish finger bhorta causing consternation among the ranks
Smell of Maldive fish – a spice, therefore not considered to be actual meat 
among beachfront restaurateurs of southern Sri Lanka
Eating barbecued sheep meat off the floor, drunk, craving flesh
Chicken fajitas cooked by the Israeli boys
They used to speak to me in Hebrew while I surfed. Israelis in general, that is, 
not Ram and Amir
Asked me why we were going to Israel. Ram and Amir, that is, 
not Israelis in general
Same as what that Lebanese woman said in Beirut. ‘You wouldn’t go to a zoo’
Which sounds very different depending on what you know about who says it
… Milkshakes made with Milo
Coconuts scraped with love
That terrible bar
Snakes, lizards and spiders called scorpions
The sound of the sea
The sound of the fan
The sound of the fan in the room with the lady masseuse, wearing only a towel and thinking
Nigella, Bonjela, measles, rubella,
It’s over, I made it, time to go.