With chainmail leggings and an Iron Shirt
or a faux leather catsuit. Clean wet dirt

to coat his skin. No need for a gun:
an elephant wetted against the sun. 

Cardboard armour in concertinas
and kevlar, fat with carabiners. 

Two-litre bottles sliced into tubes
(but so they didn’t catch he used water-based lube),

holes plugged with Extra. He filled all the gaps
with expanding foam and booby traps.

He was indefatigable until he saw the
size of the swarm, so rang out his order:

Coat me with acid. Leave no stone unturned
Deliver me peace, for all that I’ve earned.

Cut off my arms and sever my feet.
Suck out my blood and replace it with Deet.